Monday, February 15, 2010

Love stigma: I’m afraid to fall in love

I promise to myself I will not love anymore for me to avoid hurt ache. I have now a stigma because of what happened to me.I am afraid to love again and I started to hate woman



Huh ! Each one of us deserved to be happy, deserved to be love and to love. But to love a person doesn’t love you, just accept it. But when it happens the second time around, accept it again. But when it when the history repeat itself again and again. Well it’s up to you to continue falling in love and love again.

Because of what I’ve experienced in the name of love, I promised to my self not to love anymore.

Yesterday February 14, 2010 is the date for two lovers, chocolates, flowers, stuff toys and any romantic acts exist. You can notice that everywhere.

For me that would be the date that I am afraid to come. I don’t have someone to give the real meaning on that day. My friends have their own dates with love one and I, myself don’t have

Feb 13, 2010 when I am about to sleep I planned not to wake up early in the morning because I don’t want to witness Feb. 14; I planned to wake up late. So it happened, I woke up 12:00pm, I watched ASAP all by myself in the house because my mother and sister went out for their own businesses. I don’t want to see sunshine. In short I didn’t go out and pray that certain date will pass right away

5:00 pm I started to prepare myself, I m going to attend the mass in the church. It’s Sunday and much better if I spend my time in the church.

While I m alone. I felt emptiness from deep within. I just noticed my tears falling down and I felt jealous towards my friends having their dates. I promise to myself I will not love anymore for me to avoid hurt ache. I have now a stigma because of what happened to me. Huuuuuuuuh. Until now, I can’t move on. Bitterness in my heart exists and I don’t know how to relieve that pain. all I know is that , I am afraid to love again and I started to hate woman huuuuuuhh! I kept my self busy in blogging, in my study, in my school publication, in my thesis and in my economics classmates. But then I admit I felt jealous when I saw my classmates with their love one.

Maybe the lesson is “ MAGTIRA PARA SA SARILI PARA DI MASAKTAN”





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