Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Once Upon a Time, I accepted Jesus Christ as My GOD

August 28, 2010, a day that I never expect that something best will happen to me. A day that will change my life, a day that someone will rescue me from the darkness and brought me into the realness of Happiness. Here’s my story.

Damdam Kalilimodan is an organization that covers the art of dancing, singing, theatrical activities and visual arts - an organization of University of Rizal System Binangonan that I handle for a year of my leadership.

Moreover, the two former President of the said organization ask me to send some talents for their church. They really need it badly for the reason that they will have a performance in UP Diliman Film Institute and unfortunately they are lack of performers. So I asked my members who are willing to join and it was not mandatory. My members are very excited because it’s their first time to go in UP. They had regular rehearsal at the church. Unlike other performance of my members, I am supportive to them, my presence is always there during their practices but this time I don’t want to attend their practice to check, well? It doesn’t concern me anyway. (Actually I don’t want to go to Church) I am Catholic.

One time, I felt guilt to my members so I decided to go with them to their practice to check them. During the practice, I watched them; afterwards they gathered in one corner, they form into circle in an Indian sitting position. I join with them, a minute after; a man came with a bible. “Damn, here it comes the moment I avoid” I said it to my self. The Bible Thingy?

Since then, the Man Introduced himself. He is Pastor Arman. He was very gentle the way he speaks. He started open his Bible and browsed it. He started to read scriptures, and I felt boredom so I need to do something, for me to shift my attention from listening. Since I am a writer in a School Publication, in my hand I had a tabloid, simultaneously while the pastor was preaching; I opened the large spreadsheet of the newspaper. I’ve noticed the reaction of the Pastor, he was disrespected, but did he respect me? “He didn’t even asked me if I am willing to listen, the practice is already done and I’m about to go home,” I said it on my own. After reading, he asked every individual if we are ready to accept GOD. Everybody says yes, so I don’t have a choice to contradict their momentum. Therefore I said YES even I didn’t mean it. Lauren Balanay asked me if I understand about acceptance. I answered arrogantly “Of course yes; I went to church regularly, what else is missing?”

Every Sunday Lauren Balanay and the two former Damdam Kalilimodan Presidents, as well as the members of DK invited me to attend their Sunday service but I refused. My alibis are: I don’t have money for transportation (but they offered me transportation). But still I had an alibi that I am busy. They call me every Sunday on my mobile but I turned it off.

August 28, 2010 is the date of the said performance. So regardless of religion, I went with them; I need to support my talents. They hired a jeepney for transportation from Binangonan Rizal to UP Diliman QC. Actually I don’t have any idea about the event; all I knew was performance of my talents. When we arrived at UP Diliman Film Institiute I’ve noticed a banner “Empowered RAM Youth Convention”, so at least during that time I acquired a bit of awareness that it’s a youth convention.

When we enter at the entrance door, I saw innumerable youth, they were typical youth, and some were HIP HOP, Funk, Rock, and more subculture of youth. Some were AFRO, Reggie Hairstyle while i am wearing a formal wear with a tie. When the activity started, I felt I’m out of place coz everything was new to me. It was like a concert scenario but it’s different, they sang Christian Songs instead of disco songs. The youth were shouting HALLELUJAH and AMEN instead if “TAKE IT OFF”. All are new to me, I about to go out and stay outside but of course I considered my friends so I stay inside and wait for the performance. That youth convention was intended for Christians. The delegates came from Luzon, Visayas and Mindanao. Everybody was dancing, singing Christian rock songs.

As time goes by, the preaching started, but this time I cannot shift my attention anymore like what I did. I can’t read news paper, its too dark, I can’t sleep, and the audible sounds will awaken me.

Everybody knew me as an illegitimate child, hatred is in me. One of the scriptures said that we need to love our parents, we need to forgive them if they hate us....BLAH BLAH BLAH........It really penetrate me. The Pastor in microphone told us to raise our hand release the hatred thingy. “Why should I? My philosophy in life is ‘Hatred will lead me to success’ I will prove to my parents who abandoned me that without them I can reach my dreams, so why should I raise my hand?” The solemn music played while the Pastor was praying. all youth were crying, I don’t knew what happened to me during that time, unconsciously my tears fell down, I can manage my self, there were force pushing my hands to raise up and I closed my eyes, and everything follows, I cried it to the Lord, my hatred, my sufferings, my everything. I let GOD to control my life; I cried too much regardless if someone was watching me (it’s not my behavior crying in many people). Lauren Balanay hugged me and whispered, “GOD IS GOOD, HE LOVES YOU AND I PRAY FOR THIS” I cried and cried. Right after I went out to drink water. I felt cleansed, I felt peace from within, that was the BEST feeling I never experience from having one night stand, having sex with anyone...... But this time HIS unfailing love prevails. I was like healed, BASTA beyond description talaga!

YUN PALA ANG SALITANG ACCEPTANCE, I was wrong, I thought that I already had JESUS CHRIST pero papano? How will Jesus enter into my heart if it was polluted with hatred and lots of ungodly feelings?

Once upon a time, GOD touches my Stone Heart and HE stays there. To GOD be the Glory!!!!! I cannot imagine, my self now, I’m in the right way, GOD, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, You taught me how to forgive...    

Click HERE to View the Photos During the UP Scenario

August 28, 2010

I decided to accept GOD.

It’s my first time to listen a preaching, music that worship GOD and I am now a Music Ministry Member!

Watch this Video during the performance