Saturday, January 22, 2011

Makata-tawanan

Mga Koleksyon ng Mga Katatawanan Ni Athan


“Tikmul the Wise”
Teacher: Tikmul , Ano ang tinapay sa English?
Tikmul: Bread’ madam!
Teacher: Good! Ano naman ang English ng Tinapa
Tikmul: (nag-isip!!) Eh, di Brea!

“Bawi Lang”
Ama: Anak, magsaing ka na at tanghali na.
Anak: Eh wala na hong bigas. Paano ako magsasaing?
Ama: Matuto kang magsaing na walang bigas.
(Hindi na kumibo ang anak at maya-maya)
Anak: Itay, kakain na ho!
Ama: Wala na namang kanin.
Anak: Matuto kang kumain ng walang kanin.

“Klase na”
                Sa paaralan, sa klase ni Gng. Dacumos. Isang umaga habang nagtuturo siya ng isang mag-aaral.
Gng. Dacumos: Athan!
Athan: Bakit naman, Ma’am?
Gng. Dacumos: Sagutin mo itong tanong ko. Dalawang mangga plus tatlong mangga. Ilan lahat?
Hindi umimik si Athan…
Gng. Dacumos: Ano ka ba Athan nasa Economics ka na  hindi mo pa rin alam ang sagot. Bakit ano ba kayang itinuro ng prof mo noong nasa accounting ka.
Athan: Eh hindi naman po mangga ang itinuroi ng guro sa amin kundi saging.

“”Water Please!”
Proff: What is the formula for water, Jones?
Jones: H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O, (spelling out the letters)
Proff: What is that?
Jones: This Sir, (spelling HIJKLMNO)
Proff: What are you driving at? What give you the idea?
Jones: You sir. You said yesterday the water is H to O.

“Problema”
                May dalawang magkaibigan na nag-uusap…
Rolly: Bords, parang di ko na kayang mabuhay.
Joebert: Bakit naman, Bords?
Rolly: Dahil sa aking problema.
Joebert: Huwag kang ganyan, Bords. Harapin mo problema mo.
Rolly: Oo nga, but its hard to face your problem, when your problem is your face.

“Ballpen”
                Isang araw sa loob ng Eco III…
Guro: Good morning, class!
Students: Good morning, Ma’am!
Guro: Ok class get one whole sheet of paper at sumulat ng sanaysay na ang pamagat ay “Sariling Wika”
Students: Yes, Ma’am!
                Pagkatapos ng ilang sandali…
Guro: Idul, napapansin ko lang hindi pare-pareho ang penmanship mo. Kung English ang ipapasulat ay pangit samantalang kung Tagalog ay napakaganda ng penmanship mo.
Idul: Eh kasi naman, Ma’am, Itong ballpen ko, made in the Philippines.

“Bobo”
                Inside the room…
Titser: Roy, what is our National Bird?
Roy: (May bumulong sa kanya) letter M ang simula sabi ng nagbulong
Roy: Manok, Ma’am.
Titser: Very Good! Ang bobo mo talaga, Roy. Hindi pa nangyari na tumalino ka.
Roy: Ma’am, ako naman magtatanong, lagi na lang ikaw.
Titser: O, sige.
Roy: What is our National Bookstore?
(Walang sumagot)
Kayo pala ang bobo, hindi ako.

“Call Center Agent”
                Nag-uusap ang dalawang call center agent…
Fe: Oh my God! You know what? My BF is very violent person. I don’t like him na.
Lee: What? I don’t like violent person. I hate violence.
(Si Istong na nakarinig sumali sa usapan..)
Istong: You don’t like violin? Me too. I don’t like violin, I love guitar

“Conjunction”
Tado: Lupito, use conjunction in a sentence.
Lupito: Well, you explain sir what is conjunction.
Tado: It connects two words.
Lupito: Now, I understand! Here is my sentence, “The carabao is tied to the tree.”
Tado: Where is the conjunction there?
Lupito: Sir, the tie. Because it connects the carabao to the tree!!

How to know if you are normal?


How to know if you are normal?
  1.       You have a facebook and twitter account.
  2.        You have a cellphone.
  3.      You watch MTV.
  4.        You are fully aware of adult stuff.

6.     You register in unlimited text.
7.    You sleep late.
9. You were busy you forgot to read #5.
10. You actually read again to see if there is #5.
(Don’t worry wala ding #8 )
11.  Now you’re smiling then you realized you are abnormal.


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