Makata-tawanan

Mga Koleksyon ng Mga Katatawanan Ni Athan

“Tikmul the Wise”

Teacher: Tikmul , Ano ang tinapay sa English?

Tikmul: Bread’ madam!

Teacher: Good! Ano naman ang English ng Tinapa

Tikmul: (nag-isip!!) Eh, di Brea!

“Bawi Lang”

Ama: Anak, magsaing ka na at tanghali na.

Anak: Eh wala na hong bigas. Paano ako magsasaing?

Ama: Matuto kang magsaing na walang bigas.

(Hindi na kumibo ang anak at maya-maya)

Anak: Itay, kakain na ho!

Ama: Wala na namang kanin.

Anak: Matuto kang kumain ng walang kanin.

“Klase na”

                Sa paaralan, sa klase ni Gng. Dacumos. Isang umaga habang nagtuturo siya ng isang mag-aaral.

Gng. Dacumos: Athan!

Athan: Bakit naman, Ma’am?

Gng. Dacumos: Sagutin mo itong tanong ko. Dalawang mangga plus tatlong mangga. Ilan lahat?

Hindi umimik si Athan…

Gng. Dacumos: Ano ka ba Athan nasa Economics ka na  hindi mo pa rin alam ang sagot. Bakit ano ba kayang itinuro ng prof mo noong nasa accounting ka.

Athan: Eh hindi naman po mangga ang itinuroi ng guro sa amin kundi saging.

“”Water Please!”

Proff: What is the formula for water, Jones?

Jones: H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O, (spelling out the letters)

Proff: What is that?

Jones: This Sir, (spelling HIJKLMNO)

Proff: What are you driving at? What give you the idea?

Jones: You sir. You said yesterday the water is H to O.

“Problema”

                May dalawang magkaibigan na nag-uusap…

Rolly: Bords, parang di ko na kayang mabuhay.

Joebert: Bakit naman, Bords?

Rolly: Dahil sa aking problema.

Joebert: Huwag kang ganyan, Bords. Harapin mo problema mo.

Rolly: Oo nga, but its hard to face your problem, when your problem is your face.

“Ballpen”

                Isang araw sa loob ng Eco III…

Guro: Good morning, class!

Students: Good morning, Ma’am!

Guro: Ok class get one whole sheet of paper at sumulat ng sanaysay na ang pamagat ay “Sariling Wika”

Students: Yes, Ma’am!

                Pagkatapos ng ilang sandali…

Guro: Idul, napapansin ko lang hindi pare-pareho ang penmanship mo. Kung English ang ipapasulat ay pangit samantalang kung Tagalog ay napakaganda ng penmanship mo.

Idul: Eh kasi naman, Ma’am, Itong ballpen ko, made in the Philippines.

“Bobo”

                Inside the room…

Titser: Roy, what is our National Bird?

Roy: (May bumulong sa kanya) letter M ang simula sabi ng nagbulong

Roy: Manok, Ma’am.

Titser: Very Good! Ang bobo mo talaga, Roy. Hindi pa nangyari na tumalino ka.

Roy: Ma’am, ako naman magtatanong, lagi na lang ikaw.

Titser: O, sige.

Roy: What is our National Bookstore?

(Walang sumagot)

Kayo pala ang bobo, hindi ako.

“Call Center Agent”

                Nag-uusap ang dalawang call center agent…

Fe: Oh my God! You know what? My BF is very violent person. I don’t like him na.

Lee: What? I don’t like violent person. I hate violence.

(Si Istong na nakarinig sumali sa usapan..)

Istong: You don’t like violin? Me too. I don’t like violin, I love guitar

“Conjunction”

Tado: Lupito, use conjunction in a sentence.

Lupito: Well, you explain sir what is conjunction.

Tado: It connects two words.

Lupito: Now, I understand! Here is my sentence, “The carabao is tied to the tree.”

Tado: Where is the conjunction there?

Lupito: Sir, the tie. Because it connects the carabao to the tree!!

How to know if you are normal?

How to know if you are normal?

1.       You have a facebook and twitter account.
2.        You have a cellphone.
3.      You watch MTV.
4.        You are fully aware of adult stuff.

6.     You register in unlimited text.

7.    You sleep late.

9. You were busy you forgot to read #5.

10. You actually read again to see if there is #5.

(Don’t worry wala ding #8 )

11.  Now you’re smiling then you realized you are abnormal.

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